The awkward things missing from romance novel sex scenes
We acknowledge and accept that authors use a bit of creative liberties when writing sex scenes. Perfectly synchronized orgasms, growling, and mind blowing finishes every time - to name just a few. Authors are trying to set a mood, create a story with sex scenes. Sometimes that requires unlikely scenarios. And that’s before we get into the wonderful world of knots, tentacles, and monster sized penises.
Some authors do a good job of incorporating the real, everyday quirks of sex, like a little fumbling or humor. But there are a few key items I have not seen authors include in sex scenes that I would like to tentatively put forward as normal.
Embarrassing noises. I am mostly talking farts, squelches, and that one time I burped. Muscles down there are all tensing and I am often is very ‘fart positive’ poses. I have yet to read about any main character getting railed and letting some blasters loose.
Muscle exhaustion. Not all the main characters I read about are fit and have endless stamina, and yet I have not read one sex scene in which the person on top just collapses from exhaustion. I will tell you right now I can go for maybe 3 minutes before I need a break. My legs were not built for such repetitive movements. And crouching on my feet and doing the mini squats? Absolutely not, I can do maybe 10.
Un-dainty cum leaking. How are you just going to sleep full of cum or casually just pulling your pants back on? Is your partner just pumping like a tablespoon into you? If I try to just go right back to sleep full of cum I will wake up stuck to my bed. Walking around with it leads to it dripping all the way to my ankles and leaving little cum foot print between my bedroom and the bathroom. While it seems romantic to just immediately cuddle up with your partner or sexy to just pass out afterwards, that is a recipe for disaster that authors aren’t being real about.
I know, TMI.
xoxo, Ducky