You’re going on a road trip with yourself, who are you taking?
I first saw this question as a writing prompt, or maybe a therapy prompt, several years ago. “You are going on a road trip with five versions of yourself at different ages. What versions of you would you take?”
I look back fondly at the me’s of the past, they were all just doing their best. I have gone through many phases and some versions were insufferable (hello, zero-waste Ducky arc). But I think I would want to spend time with any of them.
If I got to spend time with 5-year-old me I could play Bratz with her or listen to her talk about the ants she’s been secretly feeding in the kitchen. I would hold and cuddle her as much as she needed. There would be so many wafer cookies.
9-year-old me would also play Bratz with us (and so would 14 year old me). I would ask her how she was doing and not let her say “fine”. I suspect we would talk about her new school and that no one showed up for her birthday party and that our two oldest sisters moved out. We would talk about her faith in God, and that it started wavering. I would give her my full attention so she knew I was listening.
Sitting next to 14-year-old me, we could talk about books for hours. I would ask her all the questions only someone who also loved to read could ask. I wouldn’t tell her to calm down when she got especially excited. I would make sure she was eating enough of her food and remind her it’s important to give her body the nutrients it needs. I would also recommend she put the damn tweezers down.
I think 20-year-old me and I would gush over Doctor Who and the classes she was taking and the fear she felt about what came next after graduation. I would tell her to just focus on enjoying this phase of life, to spend as much time with her little sister as possible, and don’t take herself too seriously. I would take her phone and delete the MyFitnessPal app.
I think 26-year-old me and I would watch the younger versions of ourselves with fondness, remembering what we needed at the time was almost always just someone to listen and understand us. I would hug 26-year-old me because I know she’s going through it. I would tell her this is a time of transition and promise that we come out the other side happier and prouder of ourself than we’ve ever been.
I would spoil them rotten with whatever road trip foods they wanted. We would take frequent breaks (because I still get car sick). But mostly, I would try to be the calm presence the younger me’s never realized they needed.
xoxo, Ducky